I was one of those people who was on the fence about motherhood. People used to ask me if I wanted children and I couldn’t answer. How could I possibly tell if I’d never experienced parenthood? How would I be able to just know? My life was already filled with fun, love and adventure with my soulmate who I had recently married. Did I really want the party to end? Not one to want to miss out of any of life’s experiences I decided to bite the baby bullet (drum roll please) and make it happen. I’ve always been an indecisive person. Someone once told me that if you don’t make a decision, life makes it for you.” So I decided to create and nurture life. And it was the best decision I ever made, by far.
As a same-sex couple, the journey to parenthood was one filled with both excitement and uncertainty for my wife and I. Navigating the world of fertility treatments seemed daunting at first. That is until our good friend and renowned queer family planning campaigner Laura-Rose Thorogood recommended CRGH, a beacon of hope nestled in the heart of Great Portland Street, London. Laura is the owner of the largest online social community for queer parents (and wannabe queer parents). Her LGBT Mummies Instagram page was a wealth of support and information for my wife and I when we were starting our fertility/parenting journey.
From the moment we stepped into CRGH (Centre for Reproductive & Genetic Health), we were greeted with warmth and compassion, setting the tone for what would become a life-changing experience. Founded in 1990, CRGH boasts a rich history of pioneering fertility treatments, earning a reputation as one of the leading fertility clinics in the UK. With state-of-the-art facilities and a team of renowned experts, CRGH offers a comprehensive range of fertility services, from basic investigations to advanced assisted reproductive techniques.
Our journey with CRGH began last May, when we embarked on the path of intrauterine insemination (IUI) under the guidance of Dr. Saab, our dedicated physician throughout the entire process. From the outset, Dr. Saab made us feel empowered and informed, patiently guiding us through each step of the journey. What truly resonated with us was CRGH’s commitment to personalized care, tailoring treatments to suit our individual needs and preferences.
Opting for a drug-free natural IUI, instead of the more invasive treatment of IVF, we felt reassured by CRGH’s emphasis on holistic approaches to fertility. The clinic’s modern facilities, equipped with the latest technology, instilled confidence in us, knowing that we were in capable hands. Located in the heart of Central London, CRGH provided us with convenience and accessibility, making each visit an enjoyable and educational experience.
But perhaps what impressed us most was CRGH’s dedication to diversity and inclusivity, particularly in their unwavering support for LGBTQI+ couples. From the outset, we felt embraced and celebrated for who we were, with the correct queer-friendly terminology utilised and our exciting journey to parenthood championed every step of the way. This inclusive approach demonstrated their commitment to equality and acceptance, fostering a welcoming environment where all families are celebrated and supported.
After 8 long months of reviewing profiles on the American sperm donor site Xytec (aka Sperm Tinder), we finally found our ideal donor and purchased four vials of super sperm to help create our dream family. A great tip is not just to look at the available donor sperm, but the past donors, so you can put your name on a waiting list for the one you like the most. We found our donor this way, who had a 20 person wait list limit. It was honestly like booking Glastonbury tickets when we finally got that call to say his sperm samples were back and we had to purchase vials ASAP.
We chose an American site as British donor sites are only permitted to show photo’s of the donor as a baby, not an adult and we were too curious to be cool with not knowing what that baby would look like when he was an older strapping lad. The family health history of the donor is also visible as well as his own and each donor is tested for over 300 genetic diseases, which was very reassuring. The vials were promptly shipped to CRGH where they were stored in their state of the art freezers until we decided to use them.
Our IUI procedure at CRGH was a pleasant, calm experience and proved to be a resounding success (our doctor called it “a beautiful IUI”, with our adorable baby son Xavier born in January this year. Despite statistics suggesting a mere 5% chance of success with IUI at my age (wayyy over 35), we defied the odds and thank the entire CRGH team for helping to make this happen and for their unwavering support and expert guidance.
Genetics of course play a big part in how fertile someone is but I also believe the research I did about health and lifestyle practices greatly improved my chances. This included cutting out all cleaning and skincare products containing endocrine disrupting toxins and utilising natural products instead. I ate a whole foods organic diet rich in grass fed meat, wild fish, vegetables, full fat dairy (low fat dairy has been linked to infertility), soaked nuts and grains, olive oil, raw honey, organ meats, fermented foods like kimchi and sauerkraut and lots of fresh fruit.
I also ditched plastic containers and bottles due to the fertility hindering BPA and BPA-like chemicals, opting only for mineral water in glass bottles. I also cut out alcohol and caffeine completely for a good 6 months before my IUI. The book It Starts With The Egg by Rebecca Fett was also highly informative about preparing your body for a IUI/IVF and helping to prevent miscarriage with many suggestions on tests you meed to have done, such as a full thyroid profile. I also followed Rebecca’s advice and took CoEnzymeQ10 in the Ubiquinol form as well as folate (as opposed to the synthetically created Folic Acid). As gut health also greatly contributes to a healthy pregnancy and baby doing pregnancy I also tool a good probiotic supplement by Proven throughout my conception journey and pregnancy.
I had heard a lot about how acupuncture can help your chances with IUI and IVF so I booked a session with the best in the business Hannah Pearn. I had a session in her stylish clinic in South West London a day before and a day after my IUI and I’m pretty sure this added to the fertility magic.
Hannah has 3 London clinics providing acupuncture, reflexology, fertility massage, nutrition, herbs and fertility coaching. Online, she conducts regular fertility information events, a drop in monthly support group, 121 consultations and a weekly award nominated podcast Don’t Tell Me To RELAX.
Throughout our pregnancy and fertility journey, CRGH went above and beyond to ensure our well-being, also offering invaluable advice on nutrition, supplements, and lifestyle factors to optimise our chances of success. Their commitment to holistic care extended beyond medical treatments, with staff members always available to address any concerns or queries we had along the way.
Looking back on our journey with CRGH, we are filled with overwhelming gratitude and joy. What began as a dream has now blossomed into a beautiful reality. Our experience with CRGH not only resulted in the miracle of life but also reaffirmed our belief in the power of love, resilience, and hope.
The happiness our beautiful son Xavier brings to each and everyday is like nothing we have experienced and we are so in love with his gorgeous, squishy little self. We also adore taking him on our many mini breaks and holidays, watching the wonderment in his eyes as he discovers the world around him – travel doesn’t have to stop when you have little ones and can feel even more joyful. The only niggle I have about the whole experience is that we didn’t start our baby making journey sooner so we could have a whole tribe at home! I used to think those mummies who had 5 children were crazy, now I understand and wish that was my life.
As we embark on this new happy life chapter of parenthood, we are eternally grateful to CRGH for helping us create our rainbow family. To anyone embarking on their own fertility journey, we wholeheartedly recommend this clinic as a beacon of hope and support—a place where miracles truly happen, and dreams come to life.
